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Biden Banning Farts?


No, the Biden Administration is not really going to ban farts, or three-quarters of the White House might be under investigation, but something serious is afoot – and the absurd nature of it is worth seeing through the lens of farts. 

Biden’s Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the World Health Organization (WHO), recently enlisted to defend China, now advises we should ban gas stoves.

Yes, gas stoves – in use since the 1920s –produce methane, like cows and humans, but banning them seems a bit “beyond,” something even Orwell never imagined. 

According to the EPA, gas stoves produce methane, and may contribute to “asthma, cardiovascular problems, cancer, and other health conditions,” unlike the stress banning them would produce. 

EPA cites a study “of 53 homes” in the Journal of Environmental Technology, edited by Berkely and Yale, to support this idea. The study – as a reference for national policy – is a joke. It controls for no dependent variables or outside sources, does not identify stove types or ages, is hardly double-blind.

It draws emission inferences from 53 stoves, and gingerly applies them to 40 percent of the homes in America. Finally, it makes no medical statements whatsoever, just laments climate change.

The only other source for this eye-popping regulatory scheme is the Institute for Policy Integrity, a New York group tied to the Environmental Defense Fund and Union of Concerned Scientists, neither known for entertaining diverse views.

The craziness of this scheme, however – another way to dictate life – comes when average and inquiring minds look around at where most methane comes from.

Half of all methane in the atmosphere comes from animal and human waste, a fifth emitted from breakdown in other organic matter. Cows account for 44 percent, landfills 21 percent, non-dairy livestock 10 percent, wastewater three percent – and get this – oil and gas extraction five percent.

Notably, gas stoves – of any kind, at any age, seem hardly the culprit, while five “surprising sources” of methane in the atmosphere are “hydroelectric dams,” “arctic ice,” “the ocean,” “compost” and “rice farming.” And that data comes from environmentalists.

While “coal mining” produces eight percent of methane, circular reasoning is in play when the government tells us to imagine (sorry “reimagine”) that use of “electric” stoves is somehow cleaner than gas stoves.

Here is why: Just as milk comes from cows – along with those dangerous cow farts – electricity comes from somewhere. Guess where? The power grid. And where does the grid get it? A variety of sources, 80 percent fossil fuels – including coal.

Beyond that 80 percent, the grid gets 10 percent from nuclear, no favorite of the environmentalists, and the rest from eclectic sources, including sun, ocean, and wind.

So, if electric stoves run on fossil fuels, and we aim to replace gas stoves with electric, what is the gain exactly – or is that a net loss for climatic methane? Hmmm.

Then consider reliability. Growing up in Maine, we had a gas stove. Know why? Power went down, and we still had hot food. Same is true for homes with generators – like mine today – which runs on propane if electricity cuts out. With the power grid seeing more brown and blackouts, isn’t gas a good answer?

All this points up the lunacy in deciding, since it is a random day in January, since Biden is president, since we need to do something for the eco-hysterical base, “let’s ban gas stoves!” There is neither logic nor factual support for that choice.

But wait, maybe there is something we could do to lower the level of methane since we are all choking on it – or someone must be. Experts say “the earth’s 1.5 billion cows emit 120 million metric tons per year, responsible for roughly two percent of climate change.” How? Cows eat a lot of grass on the way to milk and steak, leaving things behind, like meadow muffins and farts. No kidding.

Similarly, wild animals – like moose and deer – eat a more variegated, difficult to digest diet, so they produce even more methane than cows. 20 percent more.

But now let’s get to the delicate topic, humans. We actually produce a good deal of this methane ourselves – beyond supplying humanity with energy, food, and throw-away organic waste. “Human wastewater” – together with human waste and farts, freely released around the world – represents 14 to 20 percent of all methane. You see, we have enteric bacteria.

This may sound odd, but if you happen to attend the right conferences, indoor events, or White House meetings; eat the right food at the wrong times, or wrong food anytime, you may find yourself convinced, and this reality easier to believe.

What seems obvious – and apparently is occurring to the Biden White House, as it questions their own EPA regulators’ proposed ban on gas stoves ban, is that the real culprits in this madcap comedy are not gas stoves. They are cows, moose, and humans.

So, where does all this thoughtful, erudite, if not quite polite or aromatic, analysis lead? Where does logic, empirical review, and a dispassionate assessment point us?

If we cannot outlaw “hydroelectric dams,” “arctic ice,” “the ocean,” “compost,” “rice farming,” “cattle” or “dairy” farms or farts – nor the EPA – then we are going to have to do the right thing, and steal ourselves against the inevitable. Biden is going ban cow and human farts. He has to, no other choice – it just stinks.

Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, attorney, and naval intelligence officer (USNR). He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (2018), and is National Spokesman for AMAC.

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1 month ago

I’m all for having gas stoves in the White House- unlit, of course!

Irv Stark
1 month ago

What’s next? Automobiles?

1 month ago

Does that idea include banning gas stoves in the White House also?

David Millikan
1 month ago

Instead of trying to ban gas stoves and INDOCTRINATION which is Braindead idea. How about
How about QUIT Lying on Global Warming.
Recent Volcano Eruptions such as in Greenland put out MORE POLLUTANTS in first 5 minutes than the entire Industrial Revolution to this day and Hawaii volcano putting our Hundreds of Billion’s of TONS of POLLUTANTS that WILL alter the weather since it’s a NATURAL process and Mankind doesn’t hold a feather to it.
Don’t forget about the OVER 1,000
Volcanoes on the Ocean floor that are CONSTANTLY ACTIVE. Heating up the ocean causing Global Warming.
Amazing that Mankind has NOTHING to do with this Lie. It’s pure political for power, control, and to STEAL YOUR MONEY and RIGHTS.

1 month ago

Title of this story, “Biden Banning Farts?”: He might start with banning his own “behind”!! When he heads off to foreign countries and is farting along while he is walking or squirming & farting with the heads of state behind him, that tells me he has no manners. He has no sense, common or otherwise.

Letts Brandon
2 months ago

That SOB Biden has now threatened the American public with the military, F15 fighters to be specific, if we try to put a stop to his Marxist takeover. Those who would destroy America have now officially declared war on Americans. Biden is the leader of the enemy troops (his supporters) and we must do to the enemy what soldiers do in a time of war. Lock and load people it’s time to go hot. Talking about gas stoves is ridiculous.

2 months ago

Today, Jan. 20, 2023, marks exactly two years since Biden assumed office and Trump was kicked out of it. Even though I voted for Trump in 2020, I am now happy that Biden won. He is simply a better leader. And he will win again, if the Republicans are dumb enough to nominate Trump again. This time, I will for sure vote for Biden.

I believe Biden and I believe in Biden. Biden for the win!

Carl S
2 months ago

You definitely have had your head in the gas oven too long. Biden is a better leader of what “send in the clowns”. He will not win again because he will vote for Kamala Harris, who I think he’s pretty sure is the president. So it figures you are going to vote for “send in the clowns” too.

2 months ago

Who knows? They might start banning people.

Leonard R. Schmidt
2 months ago
Reply to  Laura

Global depopulation IS banning people.

Leonard R. Schmidt
2 months ago

Power to control… that is the goal. Power to control mankind via water, food, shelter and religion is safer for the perpetrators than physical force… awakened victims can fight back. Claims by elitists of this or that activity we engage in as being detrimental to others, is another way to gain control, but without a fist to the nose. We are not the problem, those who seek to control us for their benefit are. Some noses need to be bloodied.

2 months ago

Let’s mandate that all humans and cows be fitted with methane preventing filters.

2 months ago
Reply to  David

Careful … the DemocRats might not see the sarcasm in your post!!!! LOL

2 months ago

Retired Gas worker here of 35 years working with natural gas. Sometimes on the fly. ( fly = working on live gas with no shut off until a shut off (valve) is installed. I love how these gas experts (politicians) tell us that natural gas is dangerous. Natural gas if burnt wrong will produce carbon. 5 to 15% natural gas is the right mixture for clean burning methane, and a perfect blue flame. Automobiles can run on clean burning natural gas. My opinion is all these greenies should shut their gas meters off in the winter. Disconnect your stoves if their gas. Shut your water heaters off too. YOU’RE ALL FULL OF FARTS, BUT THE HARD KIND!

2 months ago

Excuse me…sorry I farted!

John Reilly
2 months ago

Ah yes, The Swalwell Initiative.

2 months ago

Groucho Marx was a devoted Democrat and via Wikipedia, I found this quote made by Marx: “…Democrats are the Garden of Eden of incompetence!”

Boy, aren’t Dems a bunch of “smfart smfellers?

Randall L. Beatty
2 months ago

What else can they do to try to take over this country it is sick what is going on voters better wake up before it is to late, they cannot secure the border just lie after lie about that now this joke about gas stove’s I have one will never get a electric stove.We need this to stop before it is to late.

2 months ago

I smell something! Oh , It’s not the stove – a democrat just walked by.

2 months ago
Reply to  Mike

Hard to tell the difference in a democRAT and my dogs’ methane!

2 months ago

I can see the suggested aim to changeover EVENTUALLY fully functioning inspected gas stoves when upgrading to an alternative cooking device, but I can not see the reasoning of eliminate the removal of perfectly good working gas stoves. Most of those so-called hazards being listed only occur if the connections are not properly maintained and inspected, you don’t have the correct Carbon monoxide monitor installed right near the stove, there is no proper ventilation over the stove area, and lastly, if the stove is used as a form of heating for the apartment because of heat problems. I have used various models of gas stoves for countless decades with no problems and never had problems even with using an old model.
At present, if and when my gas stove goes out, it will be my landlord who will have to make the change over since the appliances came with the apartment and I don’t see many landlords rushing out to replace gas stoves that are still functioning properly.

2 months ago

THIS GOVERNMENT IS TURNING OUR COUNTRY INTO COMMUNISM SO FAST and what are we doing but going along with their controls. Wake up or go down forever.

2 months ago

As much as the power grids go down, it is a STUPID idea to ban anything gas..but that’s the way the liberals think anyway.

james carlyle
2 months ago

I have never heard of a gas stove that produced methane. They burn methane along with other combustable gases and the products of combustion are the issue as I read the EPA and FDA verbiage. They may also emit methane thru leaks or negligence as do all burner devices as in fugitive emissions.
I think the author missed the point.

2 months ago
Reply to  james carlyle

Biden is an IDIOT.

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